can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
