guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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