I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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