Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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