my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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