yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
