my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
