Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
