He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
