HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
