So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
