after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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