I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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