He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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