I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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