but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
