let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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