You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
As shirtless as possible
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize