Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize