"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.