What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?