Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
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I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.