He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
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a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
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Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.