Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
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sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
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I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.