she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
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Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
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Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.