Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize