I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
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she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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