who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
