i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
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He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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