Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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