I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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