If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
