We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
FUCK WHALES
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize