its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
