she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Help. Why am I so naked?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
