So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
