We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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