Already got asked if we're dating
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
