Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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