you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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