the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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