you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
