Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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