No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
