Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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