i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
