so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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