I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
