smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he fucked my hip out of place.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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