Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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