the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
