You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
