tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
