I CAN MOONWALK!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize