You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
