KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize