Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
