Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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