Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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