You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Fuck appropriateness.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
