the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
