i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
